current mood: surprised
current music: alison and i are making fwee fwee fwa fwa sounds at each other
current beverage: barley tea!
current activity: tea time :)
goal for today: whatever it was it did not happen
i’m looking forward to… spending more time on my hobbies!
i’m feeling grateful for… today! it was nice
notes: after my appointment this morning i spent literally all day coding almost nonstop. i started teaching myself last night at like 3am and i’m building a website from scratch as i learn.. it’ll be messy, but i’m hoping to actually put it to use when i’m done. fun day of exploring a new hobby!

current mood: tired but happy
current music: trophy by made out of babies
current beverage: coffee!
current activity: getting ready to go to the library
goal for today: get my financial aid stuff sorted out
i’m looking forward to… the library! i’ve been rereading the haunting of hill house on my phone and i’m excited to have a paper copy instead
i’m feeling grateful for… the library… you mean these books are free as long as i give them back? wow!
notes: i worked almost a full 20 hours the past two weeks (which is the most i can work in a two-week period) so i finally finally FINALLY will have an income! i think i get paid monday :) i’ve finally kind of taken charge of our finances and even though we’re broke it’s much less stressful when i feel informed and like i’m making progress toward a better situation. i’ve been really productive lately and i’m proud of myself for it!

current mood: worn out!
current music: the man who died in his boat by grouper
current beverage: a big 32oz jar of water
current activity: doing research for fun! learning about the geology of southeastern france
goal for today: make it to my event ✓
i’m looking forward to… the second day of the event tomorrow!
i’m feeling grateful for… the academic connections i’m making now that i’ve transferred schools.. almost a year ago now!
notes: today’s talks were super interesting and i now know about two new species that i can’t say anything else about because the paper hasn’t been released… it was so secretive, no pictures or recordings and you can’t post any details about it until it’s published. i’ll definitely share the paper here when it’s out! the first talk tomorrow is about the end-Permian extinction and i don’t want to miss it but it means i have to leave super early!!! going to bed soon so i’m well rested for the morning

current mood: really proud
current music: sleep now, in reverse by iress
current beverage: my nothing
current activity: about to go get dinner
goal for today: draw the last colonial coral for my lab ✓
i’m looking forward to… a relaxing night :)
i’m feeling grateful for… BEING PROPERLY MEDICATED FOR ADHD
notes: i came downstairs to journal and accidentally did all the dishes. being medicated is so crazy. i also achieved my one Big Thing for today, which was drawing this hellishly complicated coral for my cnidarian lab. i was hoping to finish the lab but i needed to switch gears, i’ve been doing labs for hours every day all week! i spent today working around the house and also just taking some time off instead. i’m feeling proud because the dishes have been a looming task that i never QUITE caught up with, and now i’m finally caught up on both dishes and laundry (the two big sisyphean household chores) and can just do a little at a time instead of having to dedicate hours or days to catching up. i’m feeling good! work is going well… i’m organizing the geoscience department’s storage room because the movers just dumped boxes wherever and i found a little valentine’s day bear that i got to take home with me. on top of that i was moving around the art that will eventually get hung back up around the building and there was this beautiful illustration of a nautilus that apparently no one wanted? huge haul today

current mood: ambitious
current music: tomorrow’s harvest by boards of canada
current beverage: plain old water.. i should get juice at the store later
current activity: taking it easy but hoping to get more done later
goal for today: finish basal metazoans for real this time
i’m looking forward to… having something to turn in!
i’m feeling grateful for… alison :) they did a lot of housework today and i’m very appreciative of the help
notes: i managed to get sick within 24 hours and i’m really struggling to work through it; i did the easy things on my to do list but the brain fog/pain combination is not making getting the important stuff done easy. i want to get better at working even while uncomfortable because i have chronic pain and a compromised immune system, so having to drop everything to feel physically unwell so often ends up being pretty detrimental. in happier news, the optimistic, ambitious confidence has been lingering even on bad days… i think i really am getting better after 4-5 years of struggling to survive

current mood: exhausted/delirious
current music: pyramid song by radiohead on repeat
current beverage: about to grab a beer lol
current activity: taking a ten minute break
goal for today: FINISH PETROLOGY LABS
i’m looking forward to… FINISHING MY PETROLOGY LABS
i’m feeling grateful for… getting to learn about geology :) i really like my major even when it’s past midnight and i just got home from school
notes: i am going to finish these labs today no matter what it takes and then i’m going to collapse on my bed and sleep for a million billion years 

current mood: mix of euphoria and apathy
current music: orchids by glass beach
current beverage: nightstand water
current activity: taking notes on a video lecture
goal for today: defining today as the day which began 5 hours ago, i want to finish my petrology lab and one paleo lab
i'm looking forward to... concert today!!!!
i'm feeling grateful for... books and such
notes: i had something specific to say but i forgot. i'll edit this post if i remember

current mood: accomplished
current music: dead tree shake by dead meadow
current beverage: nightstand water
current activity: exploring music
goal for today: make solid progress on petrology labs ✓
i’m looking forward to… spring break!
i’m feeling grateful for… my endocrinologist :) she’s nice
notes: big day of tasks for me! i also took one of the most serious naps of my life and now i can’t sleep so i’m playing around in my spotify library and finding songs to listen to (plus some new releases!). i’m discovering that since winter break i’ve gotten a lot better at not falling apart just because i’m alone, which i think is a lot healthier than needing alison around to feel okay

current mood: a little stressed
current music: reptilia by the strokes 
current beverage: coffee
current activity: getting ready for my class
goal for today: finish petrology lab 3 and paleo field notes
i’m looking forward to… collecting fossils this evening!
i’m feeling grateful for… kind professors, once again
notes: i think i’m finally not sick anymore thank GOD. i’m immunocompromised so one little cold knocked me out for a week and a half and dialed my chronic fatigue up to a 10. i’m behind on school now but my professors are being very chill about it so i think i can catch up with some hard work (and spring break around the corner!)

current mood: tired!
current music: baby teeth by screaming females
current beverage: waterrrrr
current activity: resting after school
goal for today: finish petrology lab, make progress on paleo lab
i’m looking forward to… faetooth concert next month!
i’m feeling grateful for… classmate camaraderie in the face of poorly explain physics labs
notes: lots to do tonight but i’m going to set aside time to relax as well